


Is it too much that I'm asking for

by first_prayer



Series: Reflections [1]
Category: Leslie Cheung (Musician), 张国荣, 无需要太多 - 张国荣
Genre: Inspired by Music, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 12:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12507064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/first_prayer/pseuds/first_prayer
Summary: Inspired by Leslie Cheung's song '无需要太多'.A love story between original characters.





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leslie Cheung](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Leslie+Cheung).
  * Translation into 中文 available: [无需要太多](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12706569) by [first_prayer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/first_prayer/pseuds/first_prayer)



> English is not my native language, please point out my mistakes. Thank you for your help and forgiveness.

Leroy was 26 when they first met, 2 years older than him. He was at the lowest time of his life, and he was the opposite. They were both born in wealthy families, but Leroy refused the help of his family because of his pride. 

They met each other in a family reunion. The reunion was boring, but he was not bored. When Leroy saw him, he was immediately fascinated by his face and his temperament. Clearly he was the same. 

They talked for a while, and decided to hang out together the next day. He said his name was Darius. An unusual name, he thought, just like his own name.

 

Leroy is lying on his bed, reflecting on their past, when they were so happy together. He remembers their first kiss, it came naturally. They were watching a romantic film. When the lights went down, Leroy removed all his disguise. He was already a star now, so he had to be careful. 

Darius turned his face and looked in to his eyes. What a tender look on his face! Leroy couldn’t help but closer their distance until their lips touched. They both widened their eyes, it just felt so right. 

It wasn’t a long kiss, because they were afraid to be seen. Homosexual was illegal at that time. They would be sent to prison if their love was discovered.

In the days that followed, Leroy carefully hid their relationship from the public. Not that he didn’t want people to know his lover, or that he was ashamed of the unusual love, but he was afraid Darius would be hurt by the media if he disclose his love.  
As he was getting more and more busy, he spent less time with Darius. But every second of it was precious and enjoyable. He liked staring at Darius’ face, his expression was always tender, so was his voice. When he looked at his face, it felt like that he had the whole world.

 

How did everything went wrong? Leroy can remember what happened, yet he just cannot understand the whole thing.

One day when he came back home, before he changed his clothes, Darius said to him, ‘We should break up.” Leroy couldn’t believe what he had just heard. They were so sweet together! He loved Darius, and he knew Darius loved him.

“I…I don’t understand.”

“We should break up. This relationship, it will ruin you.”

“I thought we both knew what the consequence is when we started! Why do you mention that? Something happened?”

Darius handed him a piece of newspaper, a photo of them shopping together on the front page. When he saw the headline, his blood was frozen.


	2. Breaking

The headline said, “Leroy shopping with his boyfriend who lives together with him.”

The media had discovered?

Soon he found that there was no photo showing that they lived together. The media may be just guessing. He told his suspect to Darius, but he was so stubborn. Darius insisted that suspect was dangerous enough because now the media would always keep an eye on him. Their secret would be discovered sooner or later if they didn’t break up.

“Think about your career, Leroy! Think about what will happen if your fans find out the truth! You always love singing, I don’t want to destroy your dream.”

“We can still keep it a secret! You love me, don’t you? Why can’t we face the difficulty together? We only need to be more careful, and everything will be just fine.”

“Don’t be naïve! You know about those media! I’d better leave tomorrow morning. I have already booked the plane ticket. Prepare for your concert, don’t come and find me.”

 

Leroy’ heart still hurts when he comes up with this painful memory. He couldn’t fall asleep in the next few days. He wanted to look for Darius, but he didn’t even know where he was going. With his concert approaching, he had to focus on his work. Due to his sleeping problems, he often made mistakes in the rehearsal. He was upset because he pursued perfection of everything.

He didn’t have any spare time until he finished the world tour. During these three months, he slept less than five hours per night. It usually took him more than two hours to fall asleep. And journalists were following him everywhere, hoping to find some evidence to prove that he was a gay. Obviously they found nothing, and they lost interest eventually.

When he finally could focus on Darius, he couldn’t find a clue where he was. Darius changed his phone number, and did not reply his email. He just vanished into the big world. 

Whenever Leroy closed his eyes, he saw Darius’ face. He wanted to remember his face forever, but he was afraid that his memory would fade away. He only found one precious photo of Darius, he kept it in his wallet with him.

He went to Darius’ houses in America and Canada, but Darius was not there. Darius’ parents died early, and he was not familiar with his other relatives and friends. As time went by, he was losing hope. 

Sometimes he imagines how Darius is after all these years. Is he married now? With a pretty girl and having a few children? Is he happy? Leroy wishes that Darius can still remember him, dream about him, and know his pain. He wishes Darius will be proud of him, and mention him to his family. If Darius doesn’t want love between them, he stills wants him to come back, as an old friend. Is it too much that he’s asking for?


	3. Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternative ending to Chapter 2, which is a tragedy.  
> Warning: Major Character Death

Leroy is standing at the top of the building, looking down on the magnificent night view of Hong Kong. He is curious what Darius will do if he jump out of the window. He will hear the news wherever he is, because Leroy is an international superstar now. Maybe he will rush to Hong Kong to see him. Oh, how beautiful! He can see Darius’ face again. That’s all he’s ever wanted.

He steps outside the window. He is falling fast. —————He loses consciousness.

### Epilogue

Darius hears the shocking news and goes back to Hong Kong. He wants to see Leroy’s face for the last time. But he fails. There are so many fans waiting to see Leroy, and he’s just one of them. Their relationship is a secret therefore he is no different from ordinary fans. He can’t attend Leroy’s funeral, either. Because only his friends and family can attend the funeral. All the fans are waiting outside on the street.

Leroy doesn’t see Darius' face in the end.

###### The lyrics of Leslie Cheung's “无需要太多”

###### 

> 无需要太多 只需要你一张温柔面容 随印象及时掠过 空气中轻轻抚摸 无需要太多 只要再三地望向我 请你望向我 仍惯性笑笑似最初一样仍感觉到你我也认识过 人活着但寻找开心不曾做错 谁又受罚为何只准陪我坐 你注意过我已经称 世界太阔 你的哭笑不只为我 曾失去太多 只想你置身于他人面前 仍会略略提及我 仿似你欢喜的歌 无需要太多 只要某一夜梦见我 当你梦见我 会碰碰那一个失眠的我 就算你是重要 如何能讲出需要 身边没缺少 还祈求多少需要 啊 曾失去太多 只想你置身于他人面前 仍会略略提及我 仿似你欢喜的歌 无需要太多 只要某一夜梦见我 当你梦见我 会碰碰那一个失眠的我 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.  
> My first novel.  
> Comments are welcomed.


End file.
